Bullying

Why is this information important?

Some research indicates that up to 20% of children and young people are experiencing persistent bullying in the classroom, playground or travelling to and from school.

What is bullying?

Bullying can be:

• Physical
• Verbal
• Emotional
• Racist
• Sexual

Bullying can result in:

• Low self esteem
• Poor school performance
• Depression
• Isolation
• Suicidal feelings

Recognising the Signs of Bullying

Many children feel that it is their fault they are being bullied and they are often reluctant to tell anyone about it. They may not tell their parents for fear of upsetting them or not being taken seriously or worrying they will over react and make matters worse.

Behaviour changes may indicate something is wrong, things like:

• Fear of walking to school
• Changes in the route they take to school
• Refusal to travel on school bus
• School work suffering for no obvious reason
• Feeling ill in the mornings
• Truanting
• Coming home starving
• Coming home with clothes or books damaged
• Possessions ‘going missing’
• Having unexplained cuts, bruises and scratches
• Asking for money or stealing money
• Crying themselves to sleep; having nightmares
• Refusing to say what’s wrong
• Becoming distressed and anxious or not eating
• Bullying other children or siblings
• Becoming aggressive and unreasonable

Steps to Support Your Child

If you, your child and school identify there is a problem and work together to overcome it, we hope you'll only need to follow the early steps. If you need to pursue a bullying issue further, seek advice and support.

Step 1

• Don’t rush in. Listen to your child and stay calm. Decide together how you are going to proceed.
• Promise to support your child but do not promise to keep the bullying secret.
• Help your child to practise saying ‘no’ or ‘go away’ or ‘that’s not funny’.
• Discuss ways of staying safe e.g. keeping in a group, not lingering in cloakrooms or corridors.
• Help your child to practise walking tall and pretending to be confident. Bullies get bored with people who do not behave as victims.
• Praise your child for everything they do well and give them lots of responsibility so they feel valued and important. Bullies are less likely to pick on children with good self-esteem.
• Seek support and advise:
  • Contact ask on 08457 585072. We are happy to talk in confidence to parents. We can suggest books or websites that can provide support to you and your child or young people. We can also advise parents with a child or young person who may be involved in bullying.
  • Bullying Online is an extensive website for parents, children and young people dealing with various aspects of bullying.
  • Kidscape run a dedicated helpline for parents of bullied children Monday - Friday between 10:00am and 4:00pm on 08451 205204.
  • ACE (The Advisory Centre for Education) run a helpline 0808 800 5793 supporting parents in working with schools.
  • Young Minds have a Parents’ Information Service on 0800 018 2138.

Step 2

• Talk to the class teacher or year head about the bullying. Find out if there been other instances?
• What has the teacher noticed? Has your child’s behaviour or school work changed?
• Ask for a copy of the school’s anti-bullying policy.
• Agree a plan of action and stick to it, for example:
  • The whole class will talk about bullying.
  • All staff will be asked to ‘keep an eye’ on places and at times where bullying has occurred.
  • Make sure your child knows which member of staff to talk to if anything else happens.
  • Don’t expect the school to exclude the bully or bullies.
  • Monitor what happens and make a follow up appointment.

Step 3

• A written record will make it easier to check the facts and identify if there is a pattern so keep a diary of every incident which might include:
  • What happened?
  • Where it happened?
  • When it happened?
  • Who saw what?
  • Who was told?
  • What the outcome was?
  • Photographs of any physical injuries
  • Visits to your doctor.
• If your child is too frightened to go to school get a doctor’s sick note and proceed to Step 4.

Step 4

• Write to the headteacher, enclosing a copy of the diary and requesting a meeting.
• Write questions before the meeting and notes during it.
• Ask a friend to come with you as an extra ‘pair of ears’.
• Ask to see a copy of your child’s school record.
• Ask the head to put in writing what action they will take e.g. counselling will be offered to your child and the bully.
• Try to be patient, the situation may not change immediately and you need to give time for the plans you, and the school, have made to take effect.
• Arrange a further meeting with the head to discuss progress.
• If you feel the school is not handling the situation satisfactorily and the bullying is continuing you could move on to Step 5.

Step 5

• Write to the Chair of Governors requesting an investigation. Include a copy of your bullying diary and any other written documents. Make it clear if you are asking the governors to support you and your child in addressing the bullying, or if you are making a formal complaint about the way the school has handled the situation thus far.
• Changing schools is a big decision but could mean a fresh start.

Step 6

• Make a formal complaint to the Local Authority

Step 7

• Take legal advice. (No Legal Aid will be available.)