Routines, Habits and Traditions
We can be unaware of many of the boundaries we have; for us they have become part of who we are and what we do.
Our routines, habits and traditions reflect our boundaries, and the repeated patterns help to maintain those boundaries.
If we do not stick to our routines, habits or traditions we can feel quite uncomfortable.
These boundaries often take the form of:
- I always do it like this...
- I can't go out before I have done...
- I must do this...
- this will happen if you don't do this...
- you should do...
- you shouldn't...
- you really ought to...
For example "I can't go out until the beds are made".
Asking the question "What would happen if I did?" can often reveal the underlying value or belief that has led to this particular boundary rule.
Here it might be "because if someone else sees that the beds aren't made it would reflect badly on me as a person".
What routines, habits or traditions do you have that you expect everyone to follow? For example, get up at 7:00am every morning or visiting relatives every Sunday.
Knowing what you know now, what boundaries do you have that you have not thought of as boundaries before?
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