Sometimes we're unaware of our boundaries until they are threatened or challenged. When our boundaries are infringed we tend to respond emotionally.
Ask yourself, if you will, the various aspects of your young person's behaviour that you have an issue with.
What emotional response do/did you have?
Try and identify the belief or value behind the boundary that has been crossed; there might be more than one.
As an example, you might be feeling angry with your young person for returning home late. The belief behind this boundary might be "It's not safe for my child to be out so late". It might be that you particularly value your evening and you want to be able to relax without worry about your young person's whereabouts.
Thinking about the behaviour you had expected can help identify the belief or value and therefore the boundary that's been infringed.
For example, the expectation that they visit their grandparents with you might come from the belief in family tradition or because you value this time together.
Has this made you aware of any further boundaries you have that you were not aware of before?
Why might your young person not share some of your beliefs and values and how might this be affecting his or her boundaries?
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